drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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