you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
