doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize