you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
