At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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