READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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