i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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