The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
