She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
