Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
