They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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