I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
