Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
