sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I checked into jail on foursquare
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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