u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
