I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
