Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize