I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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