Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize