I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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