is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize