I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
