What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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