But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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