Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
