this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
