I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
