its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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