We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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