I wish my penis had an off switch
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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