I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
