Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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