Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
