I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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