Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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