theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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