Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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