Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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