i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
