Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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