do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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