She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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