His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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