I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
