Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
