Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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