god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize