Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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