He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
In America we eat man semen.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize