she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
