I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
