I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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