you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
