im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
