im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
