she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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