Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
