the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
