I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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