my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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