There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
how does that bad decision feel?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
