They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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