he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
