It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
two words...techno handjob
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
