i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
